THE UNPOPULAR ONE: AN INTROSPECTION...SORT OF

Maybe this won't apply to most of you people, but I think that there was a time in our lives when we wish we are a different person than we are. Someone blessed with looks and charm that surely make heads turn to your direction. Someone whom everybody wants to be with. Someone who is admired. And suddenly you wake up and realize that we are not what we wish we are. Back to reality.

I was just one of those who is what one local writer here terms a "commoner". Well, not exactly that in stricter sense. I was somewhat an eccentric figure, someone who leaves them confounded or confused of whether I'm a sane person or otherwise. Eccentric in the sense that my taste doesn't conform with the trend of the day. I would rather be sitting alone, with a company of books than with a company of humans. I was more interested with who killed Abraham Lincoln than who dated who. Though I made some friends, most of the time I do things on my own. I have mentioned that in "The Solace of Solitude"

If you wonder what I look like, well I confess that I'm a bit scraggly, wears spectacles (until now) and on the heavy side. Not the ideal person to be considered a campus heartthrob or a boy next door. Geek? Halfway. I admit, whenever I see someone who is known as popular, I feel disappionted with myself. Disappointed in the sense that I ask why I'm not like that guy. But then, it dawned upon me: it was college. There will be lots and lots of campus crushes walking around its premises, but what if college's over? Will they still be as they were after recieving their diploma? Can they make their charm work in the real world? Then I realized that I'm not being comfortable with my own skin. I am being shallow and regretful. I am nursing a disappointment with myself. I finally got to my senses. I am what I am. I am what God made me. And much to my chagrin, I realized that I am being unsatisfied with myself. That attitude hampered my self-discovery and perhaps, a chance to develop into a person that I want to be. Now I say 'I should've done that before'.

Now, I want to make a point of redeeming myself for the mess that I made to myself. I may be eccentric, I may be unpopular, so what? At least I have friends who believes in me and respects me for who I am. Dwelling in the past makes no sense; what is important is to live life today. My experience has taught me an important lesson to live by, and that is: to love myself.